The 10 best positive sex books will help you focus on your pleasure


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Let’s face it, “Let’s read about sex, bay-bee!” “ will probably never become a must-see song. But when it comes to getting to know your body, your partner, and what turns you on, a lot can be said about the books. Part how-to, part guide to orgasm, sex books aim to help you understand what makes you feel good, with or without another person’s body in the mix.

Read them alone, with your partner, with your book club, or even with your mom. The more comfortable you feel reading about sex, the more comfortable you will be talking about sex. Because sex is a form of communication in itself, using books as a way to bridge a communication gap can be invaluable if you’re in a relationship. But they can be just as valuable if you’re single, helping you navigate your body and what you want out of a relationship. Here, sex experts share some of their favorite sex books.

Use them as suggestions, but remember, just like when choosing a sex partner, the best positive sex book for you is the one that you to respond to. “Look for a book for what you want to learn,” says Marla Renee Stewart, MA and sexpert for Lovers, a sexual wellness brand. “Get recommendations from sex educators, friends, check out books, and read reviews on them to see if they contain anything you think you’ll enjoy. Also check the author’s reputation to see if he has an audience that believes in what he says in the book. Remember that being HIV positive is a matter of choice! “

This title frequently appears on the “best positive sex books” lists for a reason: it’s smart, well researched, and focuses on the science behind the arousal and desire that – spoiler alert – begins. way out the bedroom. “It really shows how we present ourselves or not for sex and what that means to us as individuals in our sex lives. Learn to navigate your own sexuality easily and get rid of myths that don’t serve you in your sex life, ”says Stewart.

Even though it’s almost 20 years old and comes with a few dated material (it was published before Tinder), this book, compiled from anecdotes, can give you some useful and innovative ideas on how to have sex beyond the heterosexual stereotype. Even if you don’t think of yourself as a lesbian, thinking outside the box of heteronormativity can be helpful in expanding your own sexual practice and exposing yourself to possibilities that you may not have thought of.

If you love astrology, why not use it as a foray into your sexuality. While sexuality is unique, learning what Aries likes and what Libras might never have considered can be a fun way to try something new and get a feel for what you like. . “In this book, you will find basic matches according to the sun sign and you will see if your sign can have a basis of compatibility with other signs,” says Stewart. “It helps shed some light on past relationships and also makes you think about your current or future relationships and how you need to navigate them more. The quiz helps you see which sign would work best for you based on their characteristics, and as always, reading about the signs is going to be fun.

Stewart also recommends a book she co-wrote, which integrates sexual theories with practical techniques. “It’s full of self-awareness exercises where you can find out more about yourself in each chapter,” she says. “It is also not gendered and purposely inclusive so that everyone can enjoy the pieces in this book.” Another key point: instead of focusing only on the main act, there are plenty of texts devoted to foreplay and verbal seduction as well.

Written by an OB, this can be considered a “vagina owner’s manual” for anyone who has a vagina (or has sex with someone with a vagina). “It’s awesome,” says Anna Cabeca, OB-GYN and author of The hormonal corrective, who recommends this book to his clients. Not only focused on sex, the book focuses on vaginas throughout someone’s life, which helps break the taboo surrounding topics such as menopause.

How do you keep sex exciting when the going is comfy? How to take advantage of the benefits of emotional intimacy to increase physical intensity? These are the questions that the author, psychiatrist, asks himself in this book. Using his experience working with over 1,500 couples, Snyder shows that the brain is truly the largest sexual organ we have, and how we can use it to our advantage even in the longest relationships.

Who said that a plus one equals a relationship? Considered the definitive guide to polyamory, The ethical bitch talks about some of the issues that can arise, whether you decide to open a relationship or find multiple partners. Even if you generally feel monogamous, this book can open your eyes to some of the jealousy issues that arise in partnerships and can help you redefine what a relationship and commitment mean to you.

Whether or not you have experienced explicit sexual trauma in the past, it helps to understand any subconscious feelings that may be holding you back in the bedroom. This book, written by a therapist, helps you decompress your subconscious and enjoy a guilt-free sex life.

No matter how you and your partner (s) qualify, this book is a useful reframing of sex, sexuality, and pleasure. Written by transgender activist Juno Roche, with contributions from other activists and educators in the queer and trans space, this book explores how to break binary rules and expectations.

Whether you are serious about kink or have only tried BDSM, one of the key themes of sex is power. This book, by kink educator Anton Fulmen, explores what dominance and submission mean – both in and out of the bedroom – and explores how to play with both, whether you want to be vanilla-adjacent or completely kinky. .


Anna cabeca, OB-GYN and author of The Hormone Fix

Marla Renee Stewart, MA and sexpert for Lovers

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